my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out