he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
