Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
