ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
