I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ttyl tear gas
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Congratulations! We have a period
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
