Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
