fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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