She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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