I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
