I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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