Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize