Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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