WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
