I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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