She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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