Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
