That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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