When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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