What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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