So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
