How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
