I have demons in me.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you would pick up someone in the library
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize