Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
