He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
