I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
