Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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