you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
