I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize