i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
