in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I know her cup size but not her name....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
