do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
