Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
