I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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