and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
