I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"