My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't think brook has ever known best
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME