I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder