she woke up with a sticky ear
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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