Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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