who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
