your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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