I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
