I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
