4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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