She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
