you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
