u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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