i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize