Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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