I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
