Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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