Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize