I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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