I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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