So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
