Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
