Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
not ubering you a puppy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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