he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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