Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
