I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
