Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There r osticjed everywhere
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
