Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
