So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
