we have pet lesbian snakes
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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