Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
