I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
