You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
